sorry, i don't have the rest of the photos.
i felt so unjustified.
i really had confidence in NA.
but, some other... omg.
i really felt unjustified. so so so so so unjustified.
the girls... sigh. i understand how it feels, i understand how shirleen feels.
AC AA and NC, they fought hard too.
but, i admit hwachong is real power. they deserve it more.
ahmad ibrahim... haha. i don't even know how they are.
after footdrill was over,
sat down there, talked with maam atikah.
i suddenly got a very tired feeling, we're talking about JCs.
and got a feeling all 4 teams will not get first.
felt freaking scared, and feel like crying out loud.
but it's in the parade square, what the hell.
so i went in to the toilet, wanted to wash my face.
i saw the last cubicle at the corner so tempting, i went in, and locked the door.
wanted to call someone to share my worry.
thinking of CL zuli, but i should not worry her further.
i called koksiong instead.
after a "hello', i immediately cried.
i wanted to talk, but realised my voice echoed the whole toilet.
told him how i felt and thei vision i had, and hung up.
buried myself near the toilet bowl and cried.
disgusting, ugly and unmanly. i wasn't man anyway.
was wrong to cry, already an OCT, should be the one encouraging and giving comfort.
the CLs can manage this emotional thing much better than i can, felt useless.
but well, my worst nightmare came true.
went up to the hall,
dared not face adam and liying and bernie and weiqi and shirleen.
roughly i can guess the results. my sixth sense is most of the time accurate, and sometimes accurate at the wrong time.
saw CL zuli, and i can't stand it again.
OCT loo's weak.
the results got announced. saw shili's NC grieving.
i can't stand it. as i consoled, i joined them too.
saw NA, they're worse. i... sigh.
siewbeng and ismail sat at where burr cried last year and i tried to console him in tears too.
NC was sitting at the place where liying and steph's team sat last year, not celebrating aloud cause tianrong's did not do as well.
they're still young children, who have promising looks...
gotta work harder for CAA.
gonna be a tough year ahead.
_____________________________
Course IC wasn't fun.
got tekan-ed a few times by the Discipline Officer.
he tried to hold back his laughter sometimes when it's really funny.
likedat will have internal bleeding, he don't understand.
MOI pass! but i think i didn't do well, so... but i still hope for an A.
theory was hard. sigh.
i hope i can get all As for OTC, then at least i have the chance to qualify for best trainee.
i must do xinmin proud, i shall aim for best trainee of OTC 2007.
this is pride to the school. this is pride to the corps. this is pride to the zone.
my children showed me they really wanna bring glory back to xinmin.
how could i even think of smoking through OTC?
i must lead by example and show them that octloo's always behind them.
i can make xinmin corps proud again, i swear.
OTC theory phase ends today. i still don't like nor hate the course.
but i really like Tango! best group ever.
and i think only this few activities we start to open up, sad.
but next week we'll have a gathering! i hope.
camp phase coming real fast too.
this also tells me, no more xinmin for one month.
no more stjohn for one month.
study and homework starts tomorrow. get serious.
sigh. i must aim for best male trainee.
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