OTC CAMP 26MAY to 28 MAY 2007.

haven't been a trainee for a hundred years, i'm really scared.
i'm scared i can't stand the idiotic scoldings,
i'm scared the rain comes, and we sleepy in muddy tents,
i'm scared they wake me up, pull me out of the tent to be triage IC etc.

i've come this far.
lots of ugly and nasty comments when i got CL, i don't want it anyway.
lots of funny comments and remarks when i became training head, i can't bother too.
all iknow is i'll work hard, and i've worked hard.
i really really like stjohn.
serena and karen used to tell me, "it's Olevels, stop your stjohn stuff.", "aiyo cancel la! stjohn so important meh!" blahblah shit.
now they don't.
cause they know what is it to me.
my temasek friends also understood.
seokjie knows it's like her and baoguan.

people stop asking me why so commited to stjohn, i mean my friends.
they all know. and they understand.
march and april period, i wasn't free.
chionged for 7 weeks, with school on weekdays and stjohn on weekends.
no break, no nothing.
even good friday. i still rmbed. 6april, it became a zone meeting.
i though i could rest but i couldn't.
i endured it through, with many being caring and understanding.
purepigs try and get me out, for mahjong, for voluntary work, and even for a simple meal!
but i can't afford the time.
karen tried to get me out, but i was busy.
they never call me to give up.

serena knows i had difficulties with theory phase.
but she didn't say why not u might as well give up, you have no obligations.
she said jiayou. til now i'm still very touched. cause she understood.


and gng through everything alone is torturous.
yes u have funny funloving friends and gays in the group.
but it's no one i'm familiar with.
when i knew i was gng alone, i'm a bit disappointed, really.
thought whether i should, and i can continue or not.
maam sock understood, she didn't say "i don't care! u must carry on! if not...."
she encouraged me to endure through, but if really i can't, she'd understand...

i really appreciated everything.
no matter how sian or disappointed or whatever i might feel at times for stjohn.
it's different. i'll still come to love it again, and again, and again.
and stjohn gave me a lot of chances, alot alot.
i can't forgive myself if i don't do something to repay what taught me the most.
miss ng and mrs tan helped me so much so much. they didn't ask for anything,
they only want us to come back and help out.
i'm already halfway through the course.
if i give up now i'm wasting my time, alumni's time, cadets' time, and teachers' time.
i'll be wasting everybody's efforts, and all my other friends outside who understood how i wanna get through this, even if it sucks to the core deeper than the core of the earth.

i'm scared, but i really wanna get through this.
i promise i won't cry in camp.
i keep getting this emo-in-camp syndrome in camp, whether trainee or trainer.
weak, i must change and challenge myself.
it's not NCO course. it's OFFICER COURSE.

i can't waste koksiong's time listening to me say all those, and all these.
i don't wanna sacrifice missed gatherings with my secsch friends by quitting the course.
i really really wanna serve the corps, as a stronger leader and person.
i'm scared, but i really wanna get through all this, make myself proud, and feel that i'm the best person on earth for just one second.

it's THREE DAYS ONLY WENBIN.

jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.