superrandom before i go camp!

heh, met up with mel yesterday.












SUPER RANDOM

heh, the channel8 filming. so longggg ago! :D

the proprietoress of DRAGON INN!

LOL! fun time running. my spastic face. i miss daryl!

SPEECHDAY 2007

BEST FANCYDRILL FORMATION :D

lol. i swear the one in red is not my junior.

HEH, the old man teaching kids. last time we all damn gay, i just realise. enlarge the picture and look at the drawing on his hands! [if u understand chiense words]

SERSER! spot her.

haha min!

okay, i'm going IT CLUB camp tomorrow, T.T of course AFTER SJAB! so long never go back to corps. and somemore CL zuli last min not going, one-man show... need to jiayou. nervoussss.

and tomorrow's camp will determine whether TJC is the school i chose at least a little correct or not. sigh. i must be the president.

had a tiring day doing fundraising for MINDS, especially when people are all so stingy. and some are worse, heard you say so much rubbish and walk away. waste my breath. specially thanks to cl vivian, charles sir, peixuanns, valarie and sheila! :D

pastamania with peixuanns and valarie was funny. we talked about the stupid stuff in otc camp. lolol. :x

ok, going for camp soon.

life keeps going on, JCT as well.

feeling kinda tired. still got ITC camp, LEP camp. whatever whatever.
sounds so boring. not like OTC camp :D
haha. but the ants and mosquitoes are disgusting.
blisters still don't go off but good thing is, the abrasion wound subsided already.
you know where's my abrasions? the inner thighs! wakao, hike until friction and cause abrasion.
lolol.
whatever, TANGO lets go out soooon.


28thMAY LISA'S BIRTHDAY :D
immediately after OTC break camp i went out to celebrate lisa's bday. i'm so nice.






birthday girl thinks she can be big bully...

ROY! so long never see him.

stella! :D

QIQI! lol, weirdo lai de.

stunting in the neoprint machine. woots.

29thMAY COMPTEAM05 GATHERING!
heh, went to hg mall and eat. sorry la, i'm late again. :x
wenlin meh and kai never turn up. sad.
and i forgot to take photo with elly yang and qi!

lena

chinhong! i thought we look alike :D

shahh!

sick jas! LOL.











sigh, i feel very weird today.
whatever.
bye people :)
i must try to study for june common test.
it's coming and i haven't touch my thick notes.
skipped econs lecture today and sure to get a harsh scolding by mrs raj.
but i can care no less.

OTC CAMP IS SO SO SO OVER :D

WHEE.
say that you're happy for me!
cause i passed through the OTC CAMP!!!!
WAKAKAKA.

day1.
you know what happened as soon as we booked in?
tekan session.
pour out our bags except for clothes, put back in.
pour out again, put back in.
pour out again, put back in.
lol, kinda funny.
officers keep saying what 'nvm, you guys are selfish...' whatever whatever. it sounded real funny la, because everybody will know you're trying to spite us to do better. we're near officer standards ;)

then immediately.
IT'S TRIAGE.
i really got a shock.
cause my impression of triage was like, pulling us out at the middle of the night.
heng alpha is casualty team. so we went out.
paired up with Sierra's weiling.
she's J2 and she comes for OTC. SIAO AR.
and both of us got bitten by dogs :D i got left calf injury and two of her fingers got ripped off.
the funniest thing is, the triage case started cos dogs were chasing a group of hikers. LOL.
damn damn stupid. but triage is fun, i like first aid :)


was hike after that. damn tired then, don't know why.
1st two stations of hike were supposedly urban stations, but Tango decided to give nature a try.
we climbed slopes, cliffs, and everything i thought i could never climb and got our shoes all dirty with soil. haha. i'm so afraid of heights and we walked just on the edge of cliffs! my heart nearly came out. my physical geog teacher would be happy i did that and would ask me to take shots for her.

fastforward... ok reached the jelutong tower, i think it's spelt like that.
william sir, the dearest discipline officer gave us points on map and we were supposed to use our mapreading skills to navigate our way. LUCKILY, xinying damn pro. we managed to find one point but not the other. heh, BUT GOOD ENOUGH! we managed to make our way out of the jungle. xinying got the mapreading gold with honours badge endorsed by me! LOL.
ok, so all in all, we kissed nature during the daytime hike. whew.

soon it's night la!
OTC met in bukit timah hill and we ate dinner on the road there. took time out to bond with my group and ofcourse my dearest lardlard :)
ok disgusting, that stupid adelard.
all caught in photos! my god. officers are going to have a fun time looking at those gay moments.
if i got the photos, will post the nicer ones up k!

after dinner was the very very meaningful moment.
we climbed 4km of stairs and slopes.
not really that tough, but many can't tahan. dragged that shuyu all the way up.
stupid shu, you came so far and you shouldn't give up likedat.
really, the atmosphere is there. everybody was shouting like crazy. "JIAYOU OTC! ENDURE ENDURE! you can do it! do it good, once and for all!"
"G double O D J O B good job good job! good job good job!"
suddenly can feel the spirit of the whole course.
damn damn damn united, never seen this in my life.
tough times bring people working together.
:D
lol i think in total, we hiked for about 25km :)

the day ended when we got called out for fire drill when we were ready to sleep.
IT'S TRIAGE AGAIN. landslide case.
i was made the P1 IC.
my god, how suay can i be.
no helpers, and i was left alone to do CPR.
out of 20+ casualties, only 3 evacuated to ambulance. slow...
got so much comments and so much changes i would like to make, and god was indeed KIND to me the next day...

day2.
FINALLY, IT'S DAY2.
the low elements team building games were boring.
so was the high elements.
lol. sat around with guanwei and talked and talked and talked.
cause the whole Alpha division was in the activities together.
so glad guanwei was in Sierra, same division :)
then lunch time, so abrupt.
they call us to clean up the campsite.
they called Alpha and Bravo to go training shed to clean,
while Charlie went to the bastketball court.
so so so not right. Alpha was casualty for triage 1, Bravo was casualty for triage 2, and now Charlie went missing...
hmmm, the triage ICs duo comes from Bravo first, then Charlie... so it means.
all in all, it just meant that it's a funny plot to separate us from Charlie, while there's a triage and triage ICs duo most likely will come from Sierra and Tango.

and i was right. Azlan ordered by the DM to shout fire to Alpha and Bravo.
quickly assembled, and guanwei got tekaned like siao.
oh forgot to add, he's the Course IC for day 2.
then abruptly, sam sir read out the triage case.
it's a fire case this time round.
"so the triage IC from Sierra will be guanwei. and the triage IC from Tango [stares at me for one second] will be wenbin."
wa damn. i got a shock.
before i went to camp, i told myself a thousand times the last thing im gonna get for camp is triage IC. damn stressed and easliy-failed job. lol.
but since i'm with guanwei, heck care, I HUO4 CHU1 QU4 LE!
he got no voice at the time, so disadvantaged.
so immediately i just ordered all evat teams and firstaiders to the command post.
got lots of miscommunications from the start.
dismiss the evat team, called them back, dismissed them again, and called them back.
very messy.
but quickly we got the estimated amount of casualties-17-while in actual fact there's more than that.
but we can't care any further. the other 4 to 5 casualties all were unconscious and we do not have first aid supplies at all in the first place. so left them to die in the fire.
but in actual fact, we have first aid supplies and TOC materials once ambulance arrive. so panicky that both of us actually forgot. damn stupid! haha. but it's ok.
i thought we did a great job although the command post was chaotic. there's 3 hysterical patients, my tian.
the good thing is: we sent 15 out of 17 casualties to the ambulance! :D
GREAT JOB, although not that good, but i think me and guanwei are the best triage IC duo among the three. :D
good experience too, whew.

ok, after triage onwards, the rest are quite boring.
i only rmbed doing the lame dooga cheer with kahmeng for a thousand times. and campfire was a slight cockup.
got sentry duty from 4.30am to 6am. damn stupid. lardlard told us to walk around the campsite regularly, so me and hongyi walked around the whole of hometeam NS. saaw dogs and were scared. they bite ok. i dont want a real triage case. so we headed back after a while. in the end we just have to walk around their tents! stupid adelard, not clear in your instructions.
and dearest lard turns out to be course IC for last day. haha damn funny la him, and i wrote the officers' creed for him with my eyes half-close during sentry duty. yawn.

the next day [today] was best. telematch cancelled cause only 25 man remaining in camp.
we booked out of camp at 9am! WHEEE. :)

these few days were quite enjoyable.
reflected on why i came to this course, the discipline officer sure helps a lot in my thinking.
what makes me different from my cadets? why are you here suffering these torturings and torments when you are so old and mature only? you wanna quit halfway cause you THOUGHT you can't make it, and return to being a weak sgt, ssgt, or CL?
the discipline officer was kinda influential.

ohman, Tango although short-strengthed, was real cool.
infact the whole Alpha! we might be the smallest division, but i'm sure we are good!









MY TJC OTC BROTHERS!
kahmeng gave us names =.-
from left: kahmeng the kukunut, guanwei the hazelnut, and i'm gingko nut! lol.












never fail to take photos anytime, anywhere.
on cab today when me and chelsa booked out :D
shit, i forgot to take photos with the rest,
and guanwei and kahmeng booked out early. ):




guanwei
lard
xinying
melissa! [S.H.E ROCKS! :D]
chelsa
weiling
shuyu
michelle
azlan
kwanghian
yongsiang
hongyi
pearlning
and the rest of ALPHA DIVISON and KAHMENG!
we must pass out, together! :D

ok gng to meet lisa now.
happy birthday lisa!
i hope my jnrs did well for chinese olevels.

OTC CAMP 26MAY to 28 MAY 2007.

haven't been a trainee for a hundred years, i'm really scared.
i'm scared i can't stand the idiotic scoldings,
i'm scared the rain comes, and we sleepy in muddy tents,
i'm scared they wake me up, pull me out of the tent to be triage IC etc.

i've come this far.
lots of ugly and nasty comments when i got CL, i don't want it anyway.
lots of funny comments and remarks when i became training head, i can't bother too.
all iknow is i'll work hard, and i've worked hard.
i really really like stjohn.
serena and karen used to tell me, "it's Olevels, stop your stjohn stuff.", "aiyo cancel la! stjohn so important meh!" blahblah shit.
now they don't.
cause they know what is it to me.
my temasek friends also understood.
seokjie knows it's like her and baoguan.

people stop asking me why so commited to stjohn, i mean my friends.
they all know. and they understand.
march and april period, i wasn't free.
chionged for 7 weeks, with school on weekdays and stjohn on weekends.
no break, no nothing.
even good friday. i still rmbed. 6april, it became a zone meeting.
i though i could rest but i couldn't.
i endured it through, with many being caring and understanding.
purepigs try and get me out, for mahjong, for voluntary work, and even for a simple meal!
but i can't afford the time.
karen tried to get me out, but i was busy.
they never call me to give up.

serena knows i had difficulties with theory phase.
but she didn't say why not u might as well give up, you have no obligations.
she said jiayou. til now i'm still very touched. cause she understood.


and gng through everything alone is torturous.
yes u have funny funloving friends and gays in the group.
but it's no one i'm familiar with.
when i knew i was gng alone, i'm a bit disappointed, really.
thought whether i should, and i can continue or not.
maam sock understood, she didn't say "i don't care! u must carry on! if not...."
she encouraged me to endure through, but if really i can't, she'd understand...

i really appreciated everything.
no matter how sian or disappointed or whatever i might feel at times for stjohn.
it's different. i'll still come to love it again, and again, and again.
and stjohn gave me a lot of chances, alot alot.
i can't forgive myself if i don't do something to repay what taught me the most.
miss ng and mrs tan helped me so much so much. they didn't ask for anything,
they only want us to come back and help out.
i'm already halfway through the course.
if i give up now i'm wasting my time, alumni's time, cadets' time, and teachers' time.
i'll be wasting everybody's efforts, and all my other friends outside who understood how i wanna get through this, even if it sucks to the core deeper than the core of the earth.

i'm scared, but i really wanna get through this.
i promise i won't cry in camp.
i keep getting this emo-in-camp syndrome in camp, whether trainee or trainer.
weak, i must change and challenge myself.
it's not NCO course. it's OFFICER COURSE.

i can't waste koksiong's time listening to me say all those, and all these.
i don't wanna sacrifice missed gatherings with my secsch friends by quitting the course.
i really really wanna serve the corps, as a stronger leader and person.
i'm scared, but i really wanna get through all this, make myself proud, and feel that i'm the best person on earth for just one second.

it's THREE DAYS ONLY WENBIN.

jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.
jiayou wenbin.

my decision to challenge sir adrian!

OTC is two days later!
omg, i must enjoy bowling module tomorrow.
i'll be locked up in bukitbatok for three years...

心锁。

my chinese is not good, pardon the poor chinese.

我不是很善于表达自己，但也是人，需要发泄，需要说话，偶尔要让世界听到我心底最深处所要，所能讲的。

压抑的情绪偶尔需要吼一两下。
长久的委屈也需要想办法负荷。

有时，生活真的让你觉得累了，什么都不想做，只想赖着。
窗外的杂音，城里的繁华喧闹，都懒得去管。
往回看，是自己认为的辉煌，骄傲。
向前看，只是一片狼藉。

再看看自己。问了自己，到底哪出了问题。
沉默，又再沉默。。。 它淹没整个房子。
过了一天，两天，很多很多天。
再次问自己。答案呢？

不是你的问题，不是他的，不是她的，也不是它的。
是我的。找不到心中那把钥匙，开启心锁，再来一次。
生命对我太好，好到我无法安然接受这种冷状态。
好到我无法脱开这无谓的挣扎。

希望有大无畏的勇气，面对这一切。
希望有浩大的力量，把心事粉碎。
希望苍天怜悯，助我一臂之力。


有一群好朋友坏朋友，真的很安慰。
累的时候，需要一个肩膀。肩膀有温度，暖心。。。

若无其事，是伤害自己最残忍的方式。

ok what the hell someone kill me nowww!

haha.
thought it over and i shouldn't brood over going to NYJC would be better and stuff. IT'S ALREADY A FACT I'M IN TJC. learn to adapt love [i don't think so] and appreciate the school. ok i try.

got lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of stuff to do.
LEP project was so stupid!
mr tang chose yijun as leader when she's so busy and she had to sabotage me when i'm so busy too!

GPP was stupider.
i thought PW is something the tutor should guide us.
instead he said more than 3drafts of GPP is NOT YOUR WORK ALREADY.
yea la whatever. dorea's working hard and i appreciate.
this week's really busy for me.

i'm so forgetful that i forgot to get back change when i buy stuff. lol.
my god.
i have to pay this pay that pay whatever shit i have to pay.
i forgot to buy dinner for my bro and sis tonight and i called for MAC delivery.
21.40 bucks, it cost a bomb when mum only gave me 10 bucks.

nowadays it just rains weirdly when it likes to and it makes me feel weird too.
it's mid year and it should be HOT!
c'mon. somemore i thought it's El-Nino this year?
weird weird weird weird. RAINING?! lol. my tiann. save earth!
the rains make my temper weird too.

rahh. the good thing is i've gotten the CLEP scholarship!
remission of sch fees, $1000 per annum!
3 cheers ok.
somemore i only need to pay for air tix when i go overseas this year end.
yipee.
congrats to KOKSIONG and ZHIYUAN and MOON too! :D

okay. i shall do something right.
like packing my bag for OTC camp.
do the LEP project coordination.
fill in my LEP scholarship form.
and curse my PW tutor.

cheated.

meet seeyuen hoiting and JIAYING in xinmin!
my tian, fate brought us together.
really really happy to see them, especially jiaying.
both of us cut our hair, she looks cool and i look like nerd.
people say we cut crazy hair cause we have problems that we wanna forget...
totally agreed.



















cut a stupid hairstyle for stupid otc camp.
hair is gone, but the problems stick on my head like venom.

i gave up HC elections for something i love.
and tjc might not wanna recognise that, it's okay.
yet now i felt cheated.
maybe it appears that something i thought i love to do disappoints me, alot, alot.
i felt like shit. i really do.
forsaken a pretty resume, a pretty testimonial, a pretty portfolio for something i think i would love. yes i do, but... sigh.

chinese drama are going to have their SYF next year.
the teacher said if i go NYJ, i will be definitely be part of their SYF team.
my god, why stay here, suffer all sorts of tortures in something i don't like to do.
video productions is not the same without zhiyuan rachel and mr tang.
nah, sigh, chinese drama... it's SYF.
it's NY chinese drama. it's my dream.

nevermind, just a self-rant post.
you guys won't understand,
how it feels like being cheated by your passion. your long-loved passion.

some things never change, but not for the rest.

sometimes, it's not about whether we can, it's about whether we want.
sometimes, it's not about we want anot, it's about whether we can.
sometimes, it's about neither.

i don't enjoy doing OTC stuff, especially when HQ stinks at times.
i don't enjoy doing IT C stuff, i have no passion.
i don't enjoy doing tutorials, lol.
i don't enjoy going to school, this is worst.
but it's not about whether i want or not. it's my job, my responsibility.
whether i like it or not, responsibility drives me, and i push myself.
it's gonna be over like so soon. just bear with it.

yea, maybe one day you'll enjoy the working process.





fred's...

sexyback.

I SAW LISA AT CITYHALL! SHE'S DOING CIP. FATE!

TANGO meeting for campfire today.
LOL. maybe shuyu is correct. without my mouth and adelard's face we look alike! T.T




sigh, an awful week ahead. i real hate it.
but i can't run away. ...
maybe global warming kill and sports carnival get cancelled!

homosexuality is decriminalised!

wheeee. was back to xms yesterday for stjohn.
did nothing much, partly no drive.
got the shock of my life in stjohn. sigh. maozedong must've walked up from his deathbed.

however met up with purepigs at night and had fun! :D
took lotsa photos with friends too!




NG WEIHUI ARH. heh, heard u did great for midyrs :)








MEI! hehe, stupid weiyuan behind!







weiyuannnnnnn!






at mac with purepigs.


serserrrr!








dajie! :D







bigheaded shrek acting cute. =.-











nerdy. richard look haggard ):






YINGJIEEE! hahaha. she takes H3 farming arhh! LOL.



damn funny la. just sitting down and talking together, bitching and playing crazy taxi could be so fun, so fun! wish we'll meet up together soon again! really, i miss them alot!


spidey3 today! hahh, it's a not-bad-but-draggy movie la, to me. was so touched when harry shielded parker. my tian. the power of friendship. and eddie brock died, like so lang fei. lol. random :S but ok la. it's very..... spiderman. lol, im confused!




hehe, mummy said i looked good. :) thanks arh.










JIEJIE! for youu! :D:D








then went kovan to have dinner with kok. so funny. miraculously, HE ATE GREENS! SJAB must have gotten gold with honours and i can do 100 pull ups!



kailan. so freaking delicious, haven't eat this for a few months. kok haven't eat this for 17years.






EVIDENCE OF POPULATION INCREASE IN EUROPE AND AIDS CASES DECREASING IN KENYA!






heh, :)










so much miracles and shocks happening in two days.
maybe sunday will be another miraculous and shocking day :)
rahh, OTC camp coming. scary... ...
so not ready, so tired. when im tired i like to tear [or CRY, whatever].
and i don't wanna cry infront of people i'm not really close with... sigh.

it's 2.57AM and i just finished GP ppt presentation!
WENBIN YOU SHOULD SLEEP IF NOT TOMORROW HEADLINES:MIRACULOUS SIGN IN SPORE! A PANDA IN HOUGANG!
...

MY SEXAYE COMEBACK.

i always try to do my best to entertain.
i hope i don't disappoint huh. :D
finally blogger loves me.





sexiest english error. :)
FOOD EVALUATE WENBIN.
trent see la! your masterpiece!







LOL! stupid moon. i shall post first so that people won't laugh that much. i'm not smelling his armpit k. i'm just resting cause im tired. sexy pose eh. ;P





they two! les. handphone sameeeeee. lol.







moon the sexiest hairstylist.....






of mandai zoological gardens.







moon the sexy try-2b in the polo gang!









unfathomable-look of sexaye qi.








the latest definition of sexaye.
featuring bear on the mooon.

heh. see one side of my uniform is wet only.
the other side's koksiong. shared a small umbrella when heaven suddenly cried. i tapped card at 7.39am! so late and mrs raj says that's late. NO COMPROMISE BECAUSE OF SEXY WEATHER.
my tian, anyway sexy distribution of moisture on my shirt. ;D






moon's thrid attempt at being sexy. sigh. clap please.













hmmmm...







my turn, failed! *TIIIIIIIII!







sexaye HOTA poster.











where there's a will...










there's a retard.












afterall, i think i still regretted coming to tjc.
can't find the enthusiasm to do things for the cca like stjohn.
can't find the energy to do tutorials, they are rubbish.
can't find the discipline to study for JCT, it's coming real fast.

i wanna tear up econs notes.
i wanna burn geog notes.
i wanna eat up chinese lit notes.
i wanna take H1 H2 H3 H4 H5 H6 H7.... H[R] maths.
hahahaha, i realise i only understood maths. what the hell.

college life is bad, cca is bad, studies is bad.
somehow, my perception is the worst.