History.

Reading through my long-ago posts from my previous blog.
Went to April 2006, found AA, went to April 2005, found AC.
April 2006, I found a friend who understood me too, but he's lost, for now, maybe for good.
Hmmm.

'If we ever get separated, just whistle.
I'll come running,
I promise. '
-Yuna, FFX

Childish day.

ALRIGHT, photos on the GIS competition day. hee :D





























































SHOPPING WITH SUYEE IS QUITE FUN. :)
But I still miss that polo tee, sigh!
raah, I must find a same one! haha.

throughout the whole day today, i was laughing like an idiot/6-year old kid. suyee and fred must be crazy hearing all that laughters lol. exceptionally high today, don't know why, :)

tell all a secret.





I MISS JEROME! :(











there's two zone department meetings tomorrow, :(
and there's AURORA XII! MOON'S GUITAR CONCERT!
ALL THE BEST MAN! YOU CAN DO IT!

[someone borrowed my 3 elva albums, where are they? :(]

Life without training.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YONGQING! :)
You've grown up, wonderful! Continue to grow up and study hard! Thank you for contributing so much to the corps, appreciate all the efforts!

Alright, back to life.
No more FAC trainings, life's boring, only my 27/07 friends entertain me.
Feeling's empty, cos' I suddenly lose a goal, cos' everything's decided and we can't go back, never.

If we could go back, if I could write my own story, I will be a childish author. I will cancel you guys away from my sight, from my life even. You irritating people, disturbing the sequence of my life. I will erase off whatever's written of you, cos' I know it isn't true, it so isn't true.
I will be a childish author, I will want it my way, cos that's if I could write my own story.

But we know life's not like this, life's real. We're in reality. Reality is cruel, we can't change whatever's done.
Bla, I swear I don't wanna take my own team next time again, so scary, all the experience and everything. I want to be a real spectator next year.
I can't help feeling sore cos' this is never what I want. Been a few days so what? This kind of results is unacceptable, at all. Other teams deserved better.

BACK TO TODAY.
It was GIS Competition.
Yes, we didn't win, haha. Got special prize though.
And that freaking *JC won! omg. So arrogant and snobbish and everything disgusting. Just like ___ last week. Piss me off. Even a simple GIS competition made me think of that, see how disgusting you are. But I was amused when one of the group member jumped for joy and tripped on the stage today, lol. Serves you right you pig.
Ok GIS closed!

I have H3, ITCLUB (sad), MAZARIN (sian.) and my studies to work hard for this month.
No more SJAB for one month and I'm afraid I might become crazy.

H3, I really should spend more freaking time with it now, sigh. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING BUT DISTINCTION ALTHOUGH IT'S HARD, GET ME?

Back to school (with a roar).

Alright, FAC's over, no more training and no more seeing my children. Still having zone business however, :( I should go back to SCHOOL, and settle all my IT Club shit, go and do something about my disgusting H3, and study hard. No wait, there's GIS competition this Wednesday. Man.

But whatever it is, I hate to go school! haha. Whatever, have to go anyway.

And Bernie is really trained by me! HAHA, shut up ass. And Adam too, he completed his theory phase! & I realise after FAC each year, people got back different stuff and thoughts back. I hope those who brought passion back can hold on to that, no matter young or old. It was also because of FAC last year, that spurred me on to think that I should work hard for Best Trainee in OTC. Failed though, but I worked hard, :)

Hate IT Club, but I am the president. I should take some ownership, and full responsibility. Although it's as good as a dead club now, I should hold on and do something about it. H3 too, it's what I chose, so hey! Do something about it. It's going to appear in your certificate in future, nothing but Distinction I tell you.

Fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come on guard, fight one more round. When your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one on the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round - remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped.

Yes, fight one more round. Hello Temasek, I AM BACK (with a sad face). Goodbye Xinmin, I WILL BE BACK (next month).

It will be soon when I wave goodbye to all the tiring burdens (not commitments,self-inflicted or not), and I will be a happier boy. Hah.

Our Champions.

Firstly for my NC.
I am really really really really really really really really surprised shocked happy and most importantly, touched.
My efforts didn't go down the drain. I felt that I tried so hard this year. It should be the toughest year training FAC teams. Maybe it's because of the distance I've to travelled, maybe it's the team spirit itself, or whatever.
Your efforts weren't wasted too!
WE MADE IT. SECOND. might not be something big or wow to others, but you know how much this means to you, when in reality you only got 7 days of REAL training.
I am real proud of you guys, I didn't waste my tears and sweat.

For AA,
You worked hard, it was a close fight, and good fight. Whatever it is, I feel sad, but at the same time very happy, cos' at least I see you guys being very very serious, for this time.
This is not the end, it just marks another start. This experience makes all grow up, I am sure. & to Joel, good job. I think you really did your best. Kahlun and Ahbeng good job too, for motivating one another and supporting the team. Isaac don't feel sad, cos' you know you've tried hard, :)
Kudos to AA!

For NA,
After all the loss, after those humiliation you've gone through last year, after all those heart-wrenching moments in the team. After everything, you fought back, for all of us. You guys made it, WE MADE IT! I really got nothing to say, you guys deserve whatever you got now. :)

I can't believe myself today. Saw AA's results, tried hard not to cry. After AC's results was announced, I couldn't take it anymore. How could this be? Tears of anger, yes. NA, omg NA. Yes. I was so touched, I cried. Like, loud. Even yunjia's crying, NA07 and NA08 got back at everything, everything! Then NC's turn. SECOND. omfg I just couldn't control myself AND CRY LIKE SAI. OMG. haha, alright i improved! adrian sir said I cried lesser this year, haha. :)

Special thanks to Bernie, Weiqi, Adam, Liying, Yongqing, Seowkoon, CL Zuli, Brenda, Meiqi and all other trainers who helped in one way or another.
We did it.

To all 3 teams, let this be a new start. Bring whatever attitude and mindset you held for the competition back to the corps and apply them wisely. Your cadets need you!

We turned it around, yes, good days are waiting.
They turned it around too, erm, wow.

This is a situation of a trainer-cum-officer with mixed feelings about today's results, haha. Can't describe this in words, nah.
_______________________

FAC went well! (on the operations side)
Bavani's working so hard can! Me too!
And the marshals did great, thanks to Adrian Sir, Siying Maam, Yangqing and Adam! :)
I like most of the OCTs this year, they seemed very driven and capable. Maybe the zone will see brighter days soon, keep that up.

To all Zone 7 OCTs especially my dearest ADAM ANG KAHCHIN, all the best for theory test tomorrow and your MOI! CHELSA GO FOR IT TOO!
Congratulations, you guys completed the theory phase!


Thank you XMSJAB, thank you competition teams 2008, you guys made us trainers feel like champions too, :)

The beginning of every end.

TO OUR PROUD AA NA AND NC:
Do your very best tomorrow, work towards your common goal alright! :)
Seen all grown up, and are still growing up, and that makes me proud and satisfied.
All the best, I shan't say "Good luck to all!" for you guys don't need much luck.
GO FOR IT! :) DO THE CORPS REAL PROUD YEA!

Yes, this is where I find my passion, purpose and drive.
It's so different from temasek, I only got my classmates.
I hate it when people keep ranting on me not taking part in the competition itself. So what? My trainers and I feel like we're part of it, we're together as one team. Never mind, let me ignore them.

Therefore, XMSJAB GOGOGO! APTITIUDE!
______________________________

Lastly, I got a disastrous piece of news.
I FAILED H3 TEST 2.
IT PULLED DOWN MY OVERALL PERCENTAGE FOR ALEVELS, TOTALLY.
Forget it, I'm not very sad anyway, cos' I know I didn't put in enough effort and work.
Let this be a wake-up call, I will definitely study hard for the final exam coming up in May, after tomorrow.

Sorry Wenbin, I will do better!

blackmail material.

Nothing much to say today.
Just want to say, I really see some light now.
I hope my last struggle will do some good and shake them awake.
Let me tell you guys another secret,
I trust all of you, do you trust me?
If you do, use these four days properly. Do yourselves proud, do yourselves justice. Go and kick their asses. We're so gonna do it, I'm sure, if you're sure too, leaders.

I have a dream, do you have one?
_________________________

Random pictures taken over the weekend, :) I should do some serious work, test tomorrow.

A Miracle.

Today's the graduating seniors' farewell.
Remembered I said something like that to the Sec4s last time, "If St John ever falls under your hands, I swear I will come back and slap your face one by one."
Nah, you guys did great. A lot of changes, incidents, and everything. But I appreciate each and single one of you, all the best for your future, :)
_____________________________________

I am so tired, at this moment. Mentally and physically.

For all the lessons skipped,
For all the tests unstudied,
For all the lectures not paid attention to,
For the tears I hate to shed but did so,
For all the perspiration I perspired,
For all the worries and fears I faced,
For the fatigue I endured,
For all the consequences I've embraced,
For the very best I've tried, &
For all the words I've said,

I hope it is enough to create a miracle. I just need one. It is only a few days from now. I can count down with my fingers already. How scary.
Help me, I really don't know what to do. Never in my life did I try so hard, I want to see some reaction, can I?
I really. I really lose hope. Nothing changed, at all.
We have five effective days to work out a miracle.
Can we do it?

I have 3 tests tomorrow.

RANT.

OH! I found this, haha. It's like, our national competition where we got thrashed like sai?! haha! my posture sucks like disgusting can? T.T















OKAY THIS IS NOT THE MAIN POINT OF THE DAY.
THE POINT IS,
Hi Wong Su Yee! Happy BELATED (very very belated) birthday and I love you! You're a great friend to have. :)














spent the whole Monday doing the GIS thing, reached home at only 12midnight. gosh.
finally handed in today, studied at night with suyee and fred.
ok we didn't study, we talked more can!
and i love them, they're great friends to be with, serious. :)
but fred you suck though, stop calling me bitch i tell you, you idiot.

SIDETRACK:
THERE ARE ALOT OF MOVIES THAT I WANT TO WATCH NOW LA! :( got like seriously no time, HOW! I wanna watch kelly chen's "an empress and her warriors" cos' I haven't watch such chinese historical action movies for quite long already! enjoyed those i watched, like "Curse of The Golden Flower" and "The Banquet". Enjoyed them totally! A pity I didn't catch "The Warlords", arh. There's another one, Andy Lau's "Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon"! Omg, IT'S THREEKINGDOMS! Maggie Q's inside too la! OMGOMGOMGOMG. lol. Watched the trailer but I prefer Kelly Chen's. They said Three Kingdoms is in Mandarin but the trailer showed nothing but war scenes, not even dialogues. Even the title was pronounced in English. So where is the Mandarin part? BEST IS I CAN WATCH BOTH! Someone date me! Might not be free though, haha.

and i'm glad to have suyee around. she's from sj too, she went through what i did, and it's easy to relate to regarding matters like that. thanks friend! you jiayou too, persist on what's right! :)

and i'm really very scared now, 10 days left. i seemed to be more worried than the five of you. tell me why.

To me.

My greatest pride also disappoint. I am always so proud of that, although that fails me sometimes. Today's the worst, how can you do this. You broke a promise, your own promise to yourself, and to us, indirectly. Where's the courage the trust the determination and that sense of duty? Lost, totally.

You don't know how much you make me proud. Well, so? You put your freaking emotions over your commitment and your love. Tell me, are you ashamed, or not?

"The higher your expectations is, the greater the disappointment will be."
Once again, I fell prey to such a situation.

I feel like crying.

Fear.

Firstly, I am so tired. Hope the GIS project will be over soon. (It will be.)
So hungry, didn't have dinner, walao.
Yes, a lot of things to do tomorrow.

Secondly, for FAC.
I found my neutral stats officer (YAY.).
I did my dispatch table (DOUBLE YAY.).
I am half-way there for the form-up plans (YAY.).
I finished the zone stuff already, now is the corps stuff.

NC, you guys are not ready, at all.

Alright Promotion Parade yesterday!














































































































































































































































Don't have a good photo of Michelle's! Hah.
Short parade this year, somehow.
Kinda sad that the Sec4s are going, especially the corps leaders.
They changed alot, did alot, contributed alot, and built alot.
Hope they will be back! :)
Congratulations to all, all the best to Kenneth, goodluck to Cherie, "hahaha" to Yongqing and Bernie especially, jiayou Shili and Kahlun and so on...
Those who didn't get what you want, don't grieve over it. Instead maybe you should think of what you are lacking in? yea. :D Sec1s good luck next year!
:) hee, i love xmstjohn.


Actually I'm afraid.
What if it happens again?
But maybe it won't. Yet again, happening once caused that deep impression that it'll happen again. I'm so stressed and scared alright, it's forcing me into tears. The day hasn't come but the thought of it is enough for fear to devour me up. Just half a month, no it's just a few days. In here for 4 years, but this year is the most stressful year. What's happening wb? Whatever the outcome is, we are all responsible, especially me, I feel. I really hate to see a sea of crying cadets again.

I AM NOT READY FOR SCHOOL ON MONDAY.
:(
sorry fred.

IT IS APRIL'S FOOL DAY.

Firstly, happy birthday to Seowkoon! I wish you'd have good results for Olevels (that's for sure), stop being sick and dirty up there, learn to be a bit fiercer, and COME BACK TO HELP! :D

Secondly, it's 1st April! Two years back, AA. Well, I love them :) Saw Kahmeng on the bus today, what a coincidence, haha. I guess that's fate. Your best trainer (yea!) wishes all of you a better and happier life, good results (especially Bernie) and love me too! Those monkey bar fun and leopard crawls were memorable. You've all grown up, ran away and flew to where you should belong to. But still, remember this space, remember the area outside stjohn room where we always do our cases, remember the parade square where you did your damn-zai footdrill, remember the english corner where I threw you my champion trophy and reprimanded all of you in Mandarin (it was in the middle of activity somemore), remember your trainer who had high expectations because he really thought you guys would thrash all those out there. Lastly, I'm sorry, guess that was too much for all of you.
















TOMORROW IS H3 TEST. I AM REALLY RESTING LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS.
HAHA, I am damn tired. If I tell you I'm fully prepared for the test I must be cracking an April's Fool joke, but I really studied everything. It's just whether I can absorb or not. 15% for Alevels leh, cannot play play only. Oh man. :(

Tell you another April's Fool joke, I'VE SLIMMED DOWN! LOL.
Now that's a good joke.

THIS FRIDAY IS PROMOTION PARADE! I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

After this H3 test, I want to concentrate on training NC, after that then I shall really study. Bless me whoever. :)